D-Day Today page 2


VOL. XCLXIII....No. 45938475B Sometime During The Second World War Not Much Cents

Filmmaker Moore Predicts Defeat For America's Allies

By GW Crawford

HOLLYWOOD -- Noted iconoclast filmmaker Mich**l M**re today stated that the Anglo Alliance would be defeated by the truly multinational force of the Reich.

"America and Britain, and of course her servant states of Australia and Canada, represent a very small fraction of the world's people. The Axis is multicultural and multi-racial; the pasty faces of the the so-called "Allies" only represent whites trying to re-establish dominance."

He went on to say that "with countries of long history and culture, like France and Italy, on one side and countries of lowest common denominator tastes like the United Kingdom and United States, one can only expect that those of less culture and breeding would resent their betters."

"And why exactly is America siding with a monarchy? Should we not side with fellow republics, like France, Germany and Russia?"

Moore then went on to eat a half a cow, 12 loaves of bread, all the while deploring the "fat cats" and their "rationing".

Ike Puts Thousands At Risk

By Old Dad

Normandy, June 6, 1944
(AP) In an amazingly incompetent display of cowboy unilateralism, General Dwight David Eisenhower ordered the combined forces of the United States, Great Britain and Canada to attack German defenses on the beaches of Normandy.

The Germans, who posed no imminent threat to the allies, are said to be defending themselves fiercely against the allied insurgents.

An unnamed meteorologist said on condition of anonymity that the Supreme Allied Commander was "bloody daft to send the lads out in weather like this." Another high placed source reports that Ike actually prayed before ordering the invasion. The ACLU is investigating this egregious violation of the separation of church and state.

Meanwhile M1 radio intercepts of the German Commander, Erwin Rommel, to the Furher were quite revealing: "Look you paper hanging SOB, I told you the target was Normandy, now release the Panzers." Retired General I. M. Halfbaked, cites the transmission as startling evidence that the invasion is rapidly becoming a quagmire.

Shock and Awe

Imperialistic American Troops landing at Normandy Beach.

By Greg Hobbesian

May, 1944 (AP)
Allied Coalition forces are planning a massive offensive to take place next month, the AP has learned.

Sources report that General Dwight D. Eisenhower is planning to storm the beaches at Normandy with as many as 150,000 coalition soldiers. A significant portion of that number, 23,000, is expected to be air dropped behind enemy lines using war-gliders and war-parachutes.

The assault is expected to be "...the largest, coordinated effort by the allies yet" according to officials who wished to remain anonymous. It is projected to "deal a massive blow to the axis powers."

Those officials refused to give the date, citing "security concerns." Unsubstantiated reports, however, put the date as soon as June fifth, barring weather concerns. The AP has not been able to confirm that date.

The AP has learned that a previous plan, namely Operation Fortitude which was to involve the deployment of US forces across the English Channel from Calais, was actually a lie to confuse axis troops, thus "continuing the Roosevelt legacy of misdirection" an unnamed German POW said.


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